How to Create a Calm & Happy Mindset Authentically

Ever wonder why it feels impossible to stay positive when life is heavy? In this episode of Manifest SHE, we get real about what it actually means to create a happy mindset and why fake positivity will never get you there.

We’re living in stressful times, and trying to “stay high vibe” when your nervous system is fried doesn’t work. Instead of forcing positivity, you’ll learn how to build authentic happiness through calm, joy, and presence. Because joy isn’t a trend; it’s the antidote to stress—and being less stressed is what helps you manifest faster.

✨ Inside this episode:

• Why you can’t manifest from stress or survival mode
• The difference between toxic positivity and authentic happiness
• How a calm mindset naturally supports your manifestation practice
• Real-life ways to find joy (without pretending everything’s fine)
• Simple daily habits to reduce stress and re-energize your nervous system

If you’re ready to clear emotional clutter, release stress, and cultivate a genuinely happy mindset, this episode will remind you that joy isn’t denial, it’s medicine.

💬 After you listen: DM me on Instagram and share what small moment brought you joy this week. 

Chapters

• 0:00 From Self-Protection To Joy
• 1:45 Why Joy Fuels Manifestation
• 3:30 Safety, Chemistry, And Possibility
• 4:45 Bowling, Laughter, And Realignment
• 6:00 Creativity As Play And Medicine
• 7:20 Against Toxic Positivity
• 9:00 Rewiring Stress With Joy
• 10:20 Micro Moments That Actually Fit Life
• 12:10 Five Practical Joy Practices
• 15:00 Environment, Beauty, And Energy

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey, welcome back. I'm Shannon. If you're new here, this space is about manifesting from the inside out. That means that we don't force, pretend, or skip the deep stuff. We have real conversations to help you live the life your soul already knows is yours. Over the past couple of weeks, we've been talking about what really happens when your body is trying to manifest, but you're stressed the hell out. So we started just by reframing the idea of self-sabotage, right? Because a lot of times when we think we have blocks or we're stuck, that we're self-sabotaging. And that's not what it is. It's self-protection. Then last week we moved on to talking about how we can't manifest from survival mode. And we went over ways that you could ground yourself so that your nervous system can actually relax enough to receive. This week, we're gonna take it one step further because grounding does help you regulate, yes. But joy is what helps you to rise. With everything going on in the world right now, especially here in the United States, a lot of people are finding it harder and harder to feel happy or hopeful. I get it, because there's a lot of shit happening, guys, and the collective energy is very heavy. But here's what I really want you to know. And that's by being intentional about cultivating joy doesn't mean that you're going to be bypassing your emotions. It's honoring your humanity. Because the goal isn't to stay high vibe or to plaster on positivity. The goal is to create a calm and happy mindset authentically. Not because happy thoughts magically make manifestations appear, but because joy literally counteracts stress. It's the antidote. When you're less stressed, you manifest faster and easier. I want to talk about why joy matters without forcing positivity, because you are human, having an energetic experience, you're not a robot programmed to think only happy thoughts, and you can't force yourself to only think happy thoughts. So when I say a happy mindset, I don't mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is perfect. I mean learning to create moments of joy that remind your nervous system what safety feels like, what happiness is. Because let's be real, when you're trying to manifest something, you want to do it to bring in some sort of additional happiness to your life or fulfillment to your life that I would really enjoy my life if I were able to manifest X, Y, Z. So that could be more money, that could be more time, that could be growing your business, that could be getting the promotion you want or friendships, love, whatever it is, something that you think is going to enhance your life. And so we want to have those experiences now. Our present creates our future, and we have to feel those things. But that doesn't mean you have to ignore things either, right? You're not walking through life pretending. It's just showing your nervous system that these things are possible and finding those moments. Because what we have learned, right? What we know from the other episodes is that stress puts your body into fight, flight, or freeze. So we we already had talked about that. If you missed that episode, you can actually go back to last week's episode and check that out. So if stress is putting us into survival, joy, laughter, creativity, those things pull us back. They pull our parasympathetic nerve system back to a place where healing and imagination and manifestation live. Joy isn't some trend word, it's truly manifestation medicine. It resets your body chemistry, it releases endorphins and oxytocin and serotonin and all these feel-good hormones that tell your system we're safe again, we're good, we can relax. That's why joy matters for manifestation. Because when your body feels safe, then your mind is now open to possibility and creating it. So you stop bracing for what could go wrong, you start envisioning what can go right, and you start being able to embody that in real time. That's the essence of a happy mindset, not that everything is fine, but that I can find moments of light, even here, whatever your here may be right now. I had this experience over the weekend, which really kind of spurred me to want to share it and expand on this with you because it clicked to me during my experience this weekend when I was full belly laughing. It was my son's 19th birthday and we went bowling. It wasn't anything fancy, it was just us laughing. We were eating bowling alley food and talking trash over gutter balls, and we were jumping up and down when people would get strikes. So for a few hours, I wasn't a business owner or a coach or a woman trying to manifest and make things work. I was just present. That laughter and that connection, that was joy. It reminded me that those simple human moments are what calibrate your energy back into alignment. You can't think your way into that feeling. You have to live it. Later in the weekend, I was helping one of my clients with product photos for her business. She's a baker and she makes gorgeous decorated desserts, all kinds of things. And she is like overbooked, like she's at a place of overbooked and she's looking for an assistant. But I was like, I can assist you. So I spent hours piping frosting and choosing colors and setting up shots. Even though it was technically work, it didn't feel like work because I like to do that kind of stuff anyway. I decorate cookies anyway. Like that's the thing that I like to do. I like baking. It's a hobby of mine. This is her business. It's just a hobby, right? She's the expert. But it was creative and it was playful. And that's the point. Joy doesn't have to be extravagant. You don't have to plan like a week-long vacation or go out of the country, you know, on the next three-day weekend to Paris or something like that. It doesn't have to be that. It's not about big, it's about curated moments. It's about letting yourself drop into presence long enough to feel good, even when life is still messy. Because that's what a happy mindset looks like. Embracing the present moment. Now, before we go further, we got to talk about something that drives me crazy that I kind of alluded to a little bit, which is that toxic positivity. And I know you've seen it. I know you've heard the just think positive crowd, and that everything happens for a reason. So just smile. Advice that feels like gaslighting rather than encouragement. I can't stand that. That's not what I'm here to teach you. Toxic positivity says ignore your pain. Authentic happiness says feel your pain. And also remember there's joy too. Toxic positivity forces your body. Toxic positivity forces a state your body isn't ready for. And when you try to high vibe your way through stress, your nervous system goes, uh, we're not safe pretending right now, right? Because that's what it is. It's pretending. That actually increases your dysregulation because your body knows you're lying. So if you catch yourself thinking, I should be more positive, I want you to pause and just ask, what would actually feel soothing right now? That's the energy shift that brings peace without pretending. So when things are stressed and when you're feeling your feels and it doesn't feel good, you can acknowledge them. You don't have to ignore them, but you can also say, what would soothe this right now? Maybe it's a hot cup of tea, maybe it's just going and getting in the shower and letting the water pour over your head. You're not faking something positive, you're just soothing your system in the moment. And that's okay. And then when you do that, then you can shift. Because that's what's going to help you to manifest faster. See, when you're chronically stressed, right? Your brain's running once again on survival. You have prefrontal cortex that's responsible for creativity and future planning, it goes offline. Your body's pumping out this cortisol and adrenaline, and your subconscious is busy looking for danger instead of opportunity. But when you laugh and move and play and do something that brings you joy, your body releases the exact opposite chemistry. And those chemicals are gonna reopen your brain. It's bringing your manifestation back online when you find that joy. Once again, you can do, like I've said it a million times, guys, if you're journaling and doing all the affirmations and the visualizing, but your nervous system is breaking, it's not gonna stick. You cannot build abundance on tension, but you also can't build it on fake positivity either. So you have to prioritize joy, even tiny doses of it, even if it's small, depending on where you are in your life right now. Because I think it's important to realize that we're all in different places. We all have different stresses. I've talked to several clients that have several things going on and they're all in several different places. Some I can work with and say, girl, let's let's really embrace happy, joyous moments, like they have room to breathe. Others are feeling a little bit crushed right now. So we're just looking for tiny doses of it. That's all we need right now, is just these tiny doses. Where can we find that? Just so you can start to allow your brain to know it is safe to relax, it is safe to receive, it is safe to expand. And that's what makes those manifestations land faster and stay around. I know you're thinking, oh, Shannon, that sounds great, but my life is busy. I barely have time to breathe, let alone find joy. I'm struggling, girl, and I get it. The key isn't finding more time or even finding more money. It's about finding micro moments. So I want to talk to you, to anybody, even if things seem to be going okay, you can still do these things to start building that joy, that happy mindset, that calm. The first thing is to just savor what's already there. You do not have to add anything new. Just notice what's already good. Maybe it is your morning coffee. Guys, I want to tell you, there's something about my morning iced coffee that I drink 12 months out of the year, no matter if it's cold or hot outside, but something about that iced coffee just makes me feel good. It could be your kids' laugh. My grandson was over here yesterday and his giggle. Oh my gosh. Like if that doesn't bring you joy, it just touched me so much. It just makes me light up. It could be the sun on your face. It could be your favorite song in the car. You guys, if you put on some earbuds or headphones while you're washing the dishes, and I might be telling on myself here because this is what I do, you turn up your favorite tunes and you're dancing while you're doing dishes. Yeah, you're doing a chore, but there's some joy there. I sit there with the K-pop demon hunters in my ears, you know, going up, up, up while I'm doing my dishes. That's joy. Pause for 20 seconds and just feel that. Let your nervous system register that the moment is safe, the moment is good. Everything else can be sucking, but you have to wash your dishes anyway. You might as well throw some song on that makes you feel really good in that moment. So you don't, you just whatever's already there. Next thing you can do is schedule play like it's a meeting. Because boy, we ain't gonna miss no meetings, are we? We're gonna meet, we're gonna do all that stuff. Joy doesn't just happen. You have to make space for it. Put something fun or relaxing on your calendar like you would any other responsibility. I don't care if it's a walk, if it's a dance, if it's watching your favorite comedy that's gonna make you once again those deep belly laughs, a dinner with friends, it could be baking or painting or bowling or whatever lights you up. But just joy that is scheduled still counts. But putting something on there, once again, you don't have to find the time or money. If you're binging Netflix anyway, why not throw on a comedy that's gonna have you cracking the fuck up? Why not? Number three is to move your body the way it wants to move. This is just getting in touch with your body, not to fix yourself, but really to free yourself. What does your body want to do right now? Does it want to stretch or dance or shake or walk or lay on the floor? Movement discharges stress, it boosts those happy hormones for that happy mindset and it reconnects your body and your mind. Because a lot of times our bodies and our minds are disconnected. Listen to what your body wants you to do. If it just wants to shake it out, then do that. And what does that cost you? A couple moments and nothing else. Number four, do one thing just for you every day. And I can't stress this enough, even if it is tiny, lighting a candle. I light a candle in my room every day just for me because I like how it smells. I love the beach. You guys know I live in Texas, nowhere near water. And um, but I'm a beach girl. The beach speaks to my soul, all that good stuff. I love the beach, and so I have a candle that smells like the beach to take me to my happy place. And I light it every day. You could just step outside for a deep breath. Once again, listen to something that ups your mood. What can you do for joy every day for yourself? Is it making your bed? Does that make you feel joy? Because when you walk in after work, you're like, oh my God, yes, my bed's made. I get to lay in it. Whatever it is, it can be the simplest thing. But make sure you're purposefully doing one thing a day that brings you joy. Number five is surround yourself with laughter and beauty because your environment influences your energy. So you can listen to podcasts. We we use social media. We all probably use it way too much. Follow creators that make you think and smile, not spiral. This is my favorite is to declutter a part of your house to make it feel peaceful. Environment matters. Like, have you ever done a good deep clean and then you just feel really freaking good? Well, even if you don't have all that time to do all of that stuff, find one little space, maybe the space that you spend the most time in, declutter it a little bit, clean it up. It allows for an environment of peace. Just let beauty, however you define it, become medicine for your nervous system. Whether that's being purposeful and putting makeup on every day or how you do your hair or maybe pulling out your cute winter boots, whatever that is. But surround yourself with that because your environment and how you experience it matters. This is how you create a calm and happy mindset authentically, not by pretending, but by participating in life again. Because joy isn't about escaping reality, it's about remembering that you still have power inside of your reality. This week I want you to practice choosing joy on purpose. Because joy is the antidote to stress, and being less stressed is what helps you to manifest faster. When you allow yourself to laugh and to play and be creative, you are literally reprogramming your body to believe that peace and abundance are safe. Go live your life this week. Find moments that make you smile. Let yourself fully feel it. When you do, I want you to message me on Instagram and tell me what moment you created or noticed, what brought you that spark of joy. Because that's manifestation in action. That's how we bring magic into the real world. You don't have to be positive all the time to have a happy mindset. You just have to be present enough to enjoy the life you're already creating. I'll chat with you next week.